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The offbeat girl

This is the story of a wonderful girl, I met at my new office. More amazing than wonderful she is.

 

Good looking and calm & quiet looks of made her a bit interesting from the start. As a new guy, I took my time to understand my own team and neighboring team for some time. Unfortunately, she is in neither of those.

 

It was not part of a plan or something but calm and good looking girls have always been an attraction for me. I love to talk to them. In my experience, these persons are like a rare wild golden lotus flower you hear in stories.

 

So I got know that she of my friend’s colleague and asked us to join Tea break. Well like you would expect from any sensible man(me😛 ) I said ‘okay’.

 

It was no surprise, she was really quiet in the start but later I did learn from her more and she got this beautiful smile, I really love it. When a person really smiles from deep inside, you kind of feel it. It’s a kind of gravity, which comes automatically make you too smile & feel happy.
To see from normal points of view, she is pretty and has childhood lots of adventures were there. She loves rabbits, parrots & dear and so and so. Unlike scenarios where parents try to rescue animal(from torture) from kids, they had to take care of her from those animals. Stories of where some parrots or a deer tried to bite her were also there. Well, its looks a bit scary to me, she was telling all these with a bit smile & seem she is a bit proud. I think she was so cute, it was meant to happen😉😉
As a grown up, she is kind of changed and not changed a bit. As much as crazy as it sounds, she is like that! In her prev job, a start-up company when got into a troublesome fight with HR for leaving early the way she handled the situation and got things done is really impressed me. All that was truly courageous. A very special feature for me, because it’s where my mother is more than my dad. When I was a kid I got lost. So my dad started packing while my mom was checking where I got. Luckily I was found but that kind of proves everything that happens so far. I think courage is really a beauty to see in women. It like a Phoenix fire or sapphire blaze. Very inspiring. Yamini didi is also one such person. Pretty amazing friends to have. I think I am really glad to know you. Thank you.

 

Fun things like, she does n’t like to tag up with girl’s team who thinks boy are alien idiots. A bit open-minded. When she gets angry, she feels like hitting people on their heads with an empty water bottle. Unfortunately, every my mgr won’t be given exception I guess. I think he missed those water bottle kick, twice🙂. , she is not like any show-off, pretty much just like any guy loves, keeps herself to simple and a tiny bit lazy to things. Not at all fond of makeup and stuff. Once in a while, when is good mood comes in a bit traditional dress. If she were to come to office every day, even with slightly more makeup and stuff, I think there would be a lot of people running after her🙂

 

To this soft-spoken, beautiful smile, good-looking, interesting, sensible, open-minded & a bit dangerous girl,  we have one more feature to add – slightly crazy. For my own safety and security reasons, I can’t share with you.

(Hey offbeat girl, thank you for reading.)

Said that all, she is very good at teaching things & a bit homely skills. Logical* & organized. I’m kind of sure, she is going to be wonderful person/wife/mom. Good Luck to her and to her husband. Hope that guy who ever agreed to marry would be prepared for bottle treatments😉😉

 

Good luck and God Bless you off-beat girl. It is really nice meeting you. People like you make me believe that there are more wonderful & beautiful things & people around the world. Thanks a lot. Glad to meet you.

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Learn to Speak or Teach Better in 30 Minutes

How can you rapidly improve your presentation skills? When I began teaching at Stanford University in 2002, I was one of the weakest teachers–bottom 13% according to my student reviews. Eleven years later, in 2013, students named me one of the top 10 professors across all of Stanford University. During that journey, there was one short period when my teaching and public speaking rapidly improved, through a process called deliberate practice.

We all know that to get better at a musical instrument or a sport, you have to practice. Practice does not simply mean “doing the activity over and over.” Instead, you learn fastest when you engage in a focused process called deliberate practice, in which you repeatedly attempt an especially challenging part of the task.

When the best musicians are working to improve, they don’t just play their favorite tunes for hours. Instead, they pick a short but challenging passage in a larger musical piece, and repeatedly play that passage until they get it right. Athletes use a similar process to hone their skills. This is hard work—you focus in every attempt, try to figure out what you’re doing wrong, and tweak your performance to make it better. If you do it right, you might be mentally drained after 30 minutes.

Deliberate practice is common in music and in sports, but is rarely used in the context of speaking or teaching. In fact, knowledge workers in most disciplines rarely engage in deliberate practice. This limits how rapidly we get better at our jobs; it also means that deliberate practice might help you progress faster than your peers.

Key elements of deliberate practice include:

  • Rapid iteration.
  • Immediate feedback.
  • Focus on a small part of the task that can be done in a short time.

Here’s a 30 minute deliberate practice exercise for improving your presentations:

  1. Select a ~60 second portion of a presentation that you made recently, or that you plan to make.
  2. Record yourself making that 60 second presentation. Use a webcam, camcorder, or your cellphone video camera to capture video and audio.
  3. Watch your presentation. If you haven’t seen yourself on video much, you’ll be appalled at how you look or sound. This is a good sign; it means that your speaking ability is about to improve dramatically.
  4. Decide what you’d like to adjust about your presentation. Then go back to Step 2, try again, making any changes you think will improve your speaking.
  5. Repeat the cycle of recording, watching, and adjusting 8 – 10 times.

You want to select only a ~60 second portion of your presentation to practice. By using only 60 second segments, you can go through the steps above maybe 8-10 times in half an hour (i.e., you can perform many iterations in a short time). The first time I did this, I recorded myself talking for 30 minutes. But you don’t really want to watch a 30 minute video of yourself talking—it gets boring—and in a 30 minute video, you’ll also find far too many things to change that you won’t be able to keep them straight in your mind.

This was the process I used to improved my teaching. For about a year, I had a camcorder set up in my living room, and I went through the record-watch-adjust cycle whenever I had a few moments to spare. Although I still have much to learn, a series of many practice sessions helped me to improve my teaching more quickly than anything else I’ve done, and ultimately allowed me to develop and launch my first MOOC in 2011. In the later parts of my teaching career, when I was learning how to create MOOC-style online lecture videos, the process of deliberate practice helped me get much better at that too.

If you try this technique, or if you apply deliberate practice to other areas of your life, please comment below and share your experience.

—————————————————————————————————————

Q: What 60 seconds of a presentation should I choose?

A: Don’t spend too much time picking the “perfect” 60 seconds. The first time out, you might pick a piece of your presentation that you’re already comfortable with. Once you feel like you’re mastering a particular 60 second piece, go on and pick a different 60 second part, ideally something that you find challenging.

Q: I really don’t like watching or hearing myself on video.

A: That’s like saying that you don’t want accurate feedback on your own performance. The video camera reflects back to you how you’re presenting to others. You should find out how others are seeing you, and you will need accurate feedback if you want to improve.

Q: Can this improve my speaking ability in other settings as well, for example improving my ability to give critical feedback in a 1:1, or improving how I speak at my team’s weekly meeting?

A: Yes! You can use this method to practice your delivery in these other settings.

Q: In sports and in music, usually having a coach improves the feedback you get. Won’t I need one too?

A: If you can have a friend or mentor give you better feedback—both what they see in your performance, as well as suggestions for how to adjust things—this would certainly accelerate your learning. But it’s more important for you to get going quickly, and you’ll be able to give yourself plenty of good feedback just by watching yourself on video. In order to get inspiration for ways to improve, I also watch YouTube videos of great speakers (my favorites include Bill Clinton, Steve Jobs and Michelle Obama) to identify things they do, which I then try to mimic. This can come much later in your learning process though.

Q: Can I apply deliberate practice to other aspects of knowledge work?

A: I don’t have a great answer, but frequently think about this. One challenge is that in other areas of knowledge work than public speaking (such as delegation, strategic planning, writing, …) it isn’t always easy to get good feedback. But if you have any ideas, please let me know in the comments below.

Q: Doesn’t this method only improve the delivery of my presentation, but not the actual content of the presentation?

A: Yes, that’s right. I will have more to say about the content of presentations in a later article. If you are interested in this other topic, please follow me on LinkedIn and Twitter (@AndrewYNg) so that you will be notified when I write about that.

Source: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/20140320175655-176238488-learn-to-speak-or-teach-better-in-30-minutes?trk=hp-feed-article-title-ppl-follow

Author : Andrew Ng – Chief Scientist of Baidu; Chairman of Coursera; Assoc. Professor at Stanford University.

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Life on Highway

After 3 years working in IT, I feel so different. To compare things, my friends used to call me DUDE now they call me Cyborg or Machine. I stopped swarming around girls hostels and I started running over phones and laptops.

Peaceful sleep is replaced with painful work. Empty pocket became rich.

Long and never-ending time pass became short-term lunch breaks. Beautiful garden became artificial lights.

I stopped complaining and started understanding life. Fresh air changed to Cold AC breeze. Tight classrooms become long desks.

Stopped thinking about winning and started focusing on win-win games. Found fighting is not really bad if one of you is listening.

My brothers and sisters become more caring and sweet. Friends became family. Seems all like “Life on Highway” and all thanks to family(+friends) without whom it would have been a road kill. ( “I love you guys. Thank you. I feel so good today because of you.”)

So much changed and so much more going to change. My fear of letting go is still there but hope I will get only better which I might love or it will teach me more about pain. I learned that I grow strong and it takes time to understand in what.

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Act of Greatness

R.A. Bob Hoover
R.A. Bob Hoover

Bob Hoover, a famous test pilot and frequent performer at air shows, was returning to his home in Los Angeles from an air show in San Diego. As described in the magazine Flight Operations, at three hundred feet in the air, both engines suddenly stopped. By deft maneuvering he managed to land the plane, but it was badly damaged although nobody was hurt.

Hoover’s first act after the emergency landing was to inspect the airplane’s fuel. Just as he suspected, the World War II propeller plane he had been flying had been fueled with jet fuel rather than gasoline.

Upon returning to the airport, he asked to see the mechanic who had serviced his airplane. The young man was sick with the agony of his mistake. Tears streamed down his face as Hoover approached. He had just caused the loss of a very expensive plane and could have caused the loss of three lives as well.

You can imagine Hoover’s anger. One could anticipate the tongue-lashing that this proud and precise pilot would unleash for that carelessness. But Hoover didn’t scold the mechanic; he didn’t even criticize him. Instead, he put his big arm around the man’s shoulder and said, ‘To show you I’m sure that you’ll never do this again, I want you to service my F-51 tomorrow.’

It takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.

“A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats little men.”

Thomas Carlyle

Source: How to win friends and Influence People, Wikipedia, Floridamemory.com.

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Chennai, Nov 2015

If helping those who helped is a way of saying thanks, even when you can’t help just being with them is also kind of support and help.

Unfortunately, I had one such incident which keeps reminding of an incident.

Chennai, Nov 2015.

I was working in Chennai & just finished 3 years of my first job. And as per career perspective, I took a job offer from Hyderabad and left Nov 15. As much as excited I was while leaving Chennai, I was also curious about my new adventures in Hyderabad. But all that replaced by some feeling I could shake off till now.

Chennai is not really one of my favorite places or not so special place for me. Given the culture and introverted natures set by culture and atmosphere, was not really something I appreciated deeply but some good part like respect for their own culture and respect women is something I deeply appreciate.

It took a long time for me to make some nice friends who would really talk to as a friend, like of their own and not like a foreigner who came to exploit their culture, place, job, and money. Sad but I had my share of bad experience in the Chennai.

By the time I was about to leave Chennai, I had lots of wonderful people around. Even though almost all people are like at least 7~8 years senior to me, senior engineers, architects, manager, coordinators, vp’s . They did treat me like a friend. Of all of them my mentor – Satish, was the most special person for me. He is the first leader I have seen in my life. He is the first person I get to see doing things that a leader does. He made his team to the best, which got a bad feedback just before his joining in his team. His team loved him and also hated him but never wanted to leave for sure.

Satish  was not my manager nor my customer or anyone I had to interact with work and yet he gave lots of time to help up improve as a contributor to the organisation I work for. He had been my best friend and my mentor and been all by my side when I need him the most. Sometimes when I get angry for any reasons, I could blame his for no reason and he will just sit and listen to me.

Such great people are my friends in Chennai.

Just as I left from Chennai on my new journey, heavy rains and floods stuck Chennai. There were no communication or details available. Chennai became kind of isolated from the world and left for the sake of nature to decide what it had to do.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2015_South_Indian_floods

That situation, when I can’t even know how my mentor & friend who were there for me. It was a painful thing, a fear of what will happen to him. In death and life situation, I know no money can buy or compensate the help or support you need.

I am sure that like my mother, my mentor thought that I was safe and sound but my heart was really filled with tears and fear and love for my friend and mentor.

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we need to live our life

Life ends no matter. It’s a new journey we(you & I) should take at the end of each dead end we find. I know I would not know that I am stuck in the same rut for long and I know it would be same for many. So when I look for a magic, soon I see a glim of light as a sign of a new journey.

In life, we can’t complete few things as we expected but we can always start a new journey and keep going. So goes for the people, some are not meant to be with us, no matter how much we love & care. That is the way of life. Hard enough accept it, at least for me.

Of course, you can still be persistent enough like I was for last 7 years and waste more time thinking if I can turn back time & correct my flaws and get your loved ones back or you can start living again and make more friends. Some don’t deserve and some we don’t deserve.

Either the case, I think it’s wise to not waste any more time chasing thing or people we can’t have and start living with all we can have and friends we make🙂

We need to live our life happily. This is not by a choice but as a responsibility towards self & wonderful life we got whatever it is. We got to make so life out of it.

Posted in Personal Development, Uncategorized

why let go?

There lived a man, he wanted to climb the highest mountain in the world. After many years of preparation, he decided to give it a go. Because he wanted to achieve glory alone, he started climbing the mountain alone.

Source:  How can I let go?

Vichitra Zawar
Vichitra Zawar, Thank you for sharing.
Posted in Personal Development, Uncategorized

don’t help them !

 

After writing “give a little love even when it hurt”, I got into trouble of helping people.

As negative as it seems, read below article to see how dangerous life/helping can be. http://www.cammipham.com/helping/

Here is what happened with me.

It’s only natural to make 2 to 3 good friends everywhere I(you) go and we spend time with when we can. So I too made some friends at my new workplace. As I found that one of my friends is having a trouble with another friend, I felt like helping them sort. This where the problems started.

It’s only natural to make 2 to 3 good friends everywhere I(you) go and I spend time with when I can. So I too made some friends at my new workplace. As I found that one of my friends is having a trouble another friend, I felt like helping them sort. This where the problems started.

I waited my chance and after some time, he asked how come I make more friends or something similar to it. I told him, ‘talk in a language that makes other comfortable‘. As it turns out, I started giving examples. I explained him, how he puts me & my other friend too in trouble when explaining some topic.

If you ask a person to show you the way to a railway station or a restaurant and guy whom you asked can speak 10 languages say, does that mean he can answer any foreign language he knows? If you want to help people, then help them better – in a way others can comfortable hear you and understand you. Otherwise, please don’t help!

As it happened when both these friends joined me for coffee one day, the one I advised – with a big bright smile spilled out that my other friend hates him and told her that I sold out her secrets.

She now fears me. I lost a good friend on that day. It’s not their fault and I don’t hate them.

It’s been a week since they talked to me or I talked to them. I feel so sick of myself inside. As much as hate this feeling I can’t help it, after what I did.

yesterday night, when she was messaging me on WhatsApp and told me how felt scared around me, I was completely taken by anger and I have no one to blame. It was something.

I found this interesting pic in google, not my own

I am now learning to be alone and independent. I hope I succeed in what I am doing.

  • Don’t try to help who do not deserve.
  • Helping can always backfire.

When people backfire, they lose the TRUST on you. Trust is the foundation for everything you say or do. Once you lose it, there is nothing you can do.

So I think it’s better, I don’t help them & I won’t get in trouble. I have my own dreams to fulfill. Running around helping people won’t be such a best thing right now I think.

Sadly, now I got to live with this.  As negative as I seem to be, read below article to know the rules of helping people. http://www.cammipham.com/helping/

Posted in Personal Development, Uncategorized

Give a little love even it hurts

There are times when I, when I lost myself

when I lost myself

to anger, greed & other.

I shouted at people I loved & cared for  my own greed and anger of not giving more than what I wanted. I know they did all they could but I got greedy then. I hurt them and they showed their hate. Only later I realised it was I who got hurt the most and needed love.

So I loved, I gave care and time and love to those around. Even when I loved, there are times when I got provoked. I got angry and made feel bad inside. Made me tear. But the path of love is not an easy one. Its has some pain and lots of pleasure.

I am also a part of this world, which is a given to me by my father.

And in everything I do, I want to thank him and respect.

Give a little love. Your reward will be given only inside you and it’s worth it.

====

I share, I help, I take a moment before things belong to me(I).

because I am human before everything and anything that I think I am and being human and to me it means to give a hand when in need (give love). It could be as little as saying hello, which simply puts a smile on others face. But know this, little things can great difference. never heard of Butterfly effect. believe in miracles atleast just for fun to smile, you won’t regret it. but do not depend on miracles for yourself.
yea, one truth is if you are expecting someday somebody might help you when you need something then you better understand this.

Help or Love is something you do without asking otherwise, its called business.

Posted in Personal Development, Phil, Uncategorized

story of an old pot

Once upon a time, there lived an old man. Who build his house near to woods where he gets his food, provided by mother nature. This old man everyday carries his two pots to the river to fetch the water. One of those pots is an old one, with couple of cracks and a few tiny holes. so by the time he fills up these pots with water and comes back home, this old pot gets half empty.

One day a young potter who passing by saw this old man’s pot which got a pot with cracks and holes. The young potter felt like helping him, so next day he comes to this old man house to gift him a nice strong pot which is bigger and tougher to replace his old pot. Persistent young one successfully convinces him to take it and use.
After a couple of days when the young was back  to see happy old mans house. To his surprised his new pot is nicely cleaned and kept as side. When he asked the old man, he said that he is very thank you for new one but he explained how he realised that his broken pot is actually helping him to water all the plants and berries grew on sides of path he walks everyday.

As no water was escaping from this new pot, the plants which used to get water from old pot are now only dry and scorched by sun. Slowly that green path is just turning dry. Birds which used to come there everyday to pick berries and now no where to see and it made quiet and empty place. Also as the new pot which is strong and heavy is only making old man’s back hurt.

Now that the old man switched back to using that old pot, that slowly became green again filled with lots of flower, birds and delicious berries.

As the young man here finally understood, they sat together and enjoy the evening eating delicious berries from the garden.

What we can learn from the story,..
Sometime times good things in life or some smart/brand new things will into life, as good as they look and feel they can be different. Just like the new pot received by old man.

Mother nature has lots of things for us, once we start do our part of this large eco system we too can reap benefits. Like the berries and melody from birds.
Things we can learn from that old pot.
* All old things need not necessarily bad.
* There is a place for everything we see.
If carefully observer that water escaping from old pot., we can understand that may be leaving somethings can help you making something better in life, like that path surrounded by plants and trees.

Hi reader, please add some comments if found some new meaning from this story

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